I

I'm not sure if this is a poem, or word vomit.  At any rate, here it is.

Sometimes I feel landlocked.  Here in the middle of po-dunk Kansas. (Offense not intended).
Sometimes I feel like a 30-something trapped in a 20-something body.
I hate that the term 20-something is an accurate description of me.
Sometimes I hate that I've only been in love once, really in love, and I have nothing to compare it to.
Then I remember that is nothing to be down about and I should count my blessings.
A lot of the time, I feel lonely.

Sometimes I look in the mirror, and I'm like "Hey you.  Good job for not moving back in with your parents after graduating college.  Way to be out on your own."
And then sometimes I look at my friends who did, and are close with their parents, and I think, "I don't judge you, I wish I still lived with my parents."
Sometimes I miss my parents.  Most of the time I miss my parents (Yes I know you're reading this Mom.) Sometimes I miss my parents a lot.
All of the time I miss my niece and nephews.  They are the greatest children that walk this earth.  Don't argue with me.  You're wrong.
A lot of the time I miss my sister-in-law.  I wish we lived close enough to make plans to go shopping and garden and can vegetables and cook and scrapbook and become better friends.
Sometimes I miss my brothers.  I look up to them, but sometimes they're still annoying, even as adults.  I wish they had taught me how to hunt and fish.  I also wish they weren't the only athletic ones in the family.

Sometimes I'm proud to say I've lived in Kansas since 2007.  You can officially call me a Kansan now, I became permanent resident last fall and just bought my first Kansas license plate this week.
I'm always proud to say I lived in England for a year. (Ok fine 10 months).  I miss my England family so very much.
I always miss Nebraska, and I will always be a Nebraskan no matter what patch of earth I call home.
Also I will always be a Husker fan.  These two things are separate but intertwined.  And I am both.
I'm proud to be a daughter of the One True King.  I'm thankful for my Christian up-bringing.  I'm thankful for my Anabaptist up-bringing.  I'm thankful for my German Mennonite roots. Again, these things too are separate.

I'm thankful I have a college education.  I'm thankful I'm young.  I'm thankful I have my health.
I still struggle with body image even though I'm no longer a teenage girl.
I'm thankful I can work.  I'm thankful for my job.
Most days I love my job.  Some days I want to run away and hide under a rock and not come out for a week.  Or a month.  Then the weekend ends and I return Monday morning.
Sometimes I hate Mondays.  Sometimes I love them.  The same goes for Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday and Sunday.
Sometimes I like being by myself.  I always hate living by myself.

Ok blogger folks, that's all she wrote.